bring on the arseholes

Osasuna 2 Barcelona 1-we didn't expect our heroes to be screwed
Juventus 0 AC Milan 0-we didn't expect that sort of show to be a grand bore
Ajax 0 PSV 0-blankos and they wished they have scored one in order to overhaul PSV.now it's Inter that presents the dirtier job
Arsenil 2 Liverpool 1-game over Rafa's worriers.Buy back Owen whatever the cost
Man U 2 Newcastle 0-Newcastle are inadequate,so Roeder needs to make massive structural changes next season
Steaua 0 Arges Pitesti 0-haunted rented apartments pale in comparison to having a phobia at 'home' aka rented premises
Valencia 0 Real Madrid 0-a draw is okay,assuming that they haven't been informed of what happened 24 h later
Cracovia 1 Wisla Krakow 1-spit polish and screw
Brondby 3 FC Copenhagen 0-triple power
Basel 2 Grasshoppers 1-went right smack in plan
Trabzonspor 1 Galatasaray 1-

Birmingham 1 West Brom 1-hat trick coming up
Blackburn 2 Villa 0-no tap.Champs League coming up...looks like disaffected Baros will leave by August
Bolton 4 West Ham 1-convincing win
Chelsea 2 Spurs 1-okok,another hit
Everton 3 Fulham 1-strongbow works in such unexpected goal fests
Portsmouth 2 Man C 1-wrong side to crap.Harry Redknapp isn't easily swatted down even if he's too old to be Harry Potter
Sunderland 0 Wigan 1-as good as it gets.looks like Sunderland will go down without any wins this time
Charlton 2 Boro 1-whoosh,one more

Auxerre 2 Nice 0-no slap in the face
Bordeaux 2 Toulouse 0-double header
Lens 1 Troyes 0-destroyer power at home
Lyon 4 Metz 0-blast the hell
Monaco 4 Sochaux 1-no shit up
Nancy 1 PSG 1-whoops we crapped thru
Rennes 3 Ajaccio 0-smackdown and no hit
Nantes 1 Lille 1-no benefits for both.that means Lyon win
Marseille 2 St Etienne 0-body double
Strasbourg 1 Le Mans 2-we ran out winners

Bremen 0 Hertha Berlin 3-???(perplexed expression)
Bielefeld 1 Leverkusen 0-different side to score the same
Mainz 3 Gladbach 0-highly powderful and irregular shots
Cologne 3 Nuremburg 4-check out the fireworks
Stuttgart/Wolfsburg/Duisburg 0 Dortmund/Bayern/Hanover 0-this is super boring.zzzzzzz
Hamburg 3 Lautern 0-a Lautern fairytale isn't going to be produced
Schalke 2 Frankfurt 0-this is a classy one

Espanyol 2 Celta 0-oops off target
Deportivo 0 Sociedad 1-pump the gas when least expected.not helpful
Betis 1 Malaga 1-okok Betis weren't working anything out of this
Zaragoza 1 Getafe 2-we'd resist trying to prop Getafe up or pushing them down.maybe 9th is their true calling
Athletic 1 Cadiz 0-a rare hit for Athletic
Alaves 2 Sevilla 1-blam!
Mallorca 1 Villareal 1-error strewn
Atletico 2 Racing 1-we said that we did need a bit of a shocker when we showed up

Inter Milan 1 Sampdoria 0-so as long as Inter does more 1-0,it'd keep them alive
Siena 1 Treviso 0-nice guess.Treviso seems more dependable than the giants,cause they can be looked on to lose ALL their remaining games
Empoli 2 Chievo 1-wrong side,so no recourse
Messina 2 Lecce 1-we flecced all of our punters
Parma 2 Brescia 1-gold star hit
Lazio 3 Reggina 1-out of range
Ascoli 3 Roma 2-unexpectedly Ascoli took a 3 goal lead.not what we expected,and so we're done in
Palermo 2 Udinese 0
(in Florence,the winds decided to play a prank and wound up Toni and the gang,so any bets placed are refunded by bookies)

Stoke 1 Crystal Palace 3
Brighton 0 Preston 0
Coventry 2 Sheffield Utd 0
Crewe 1 Southampton 1
Derby 3 Burnley 0
Hull 1 Plymouth 0
Ipswich 1 Millwall 1
Leeds 2 Norwich 2
Luton 1 Leicester 2
Reading 0 Watford 0
Sheffield Wed 1 QPR 1
Wolves 2 Cardiff 0
roundup:Wolves hit again.Ipswich,Leicester round off the rest.we were fairly accurate except for the finish

Young Boys 2 Aarau 1-no go
FC Zurich 1 St Gallen 0-half goal
Schaffhausen 0 Xamax 0-how to say good night in Swiss German?zzzzz
Yverdon 0 Thun 1-another hit

Bohemians 0 Drogheda 1-diferent side
Bray 2 Shelbourne 2-ok flips
Cork 1 Dublin 0-that was an educated guess
Derry 2 UCD 0-double flop
St Pats 0 Waterford 0-another nice jab.stout might do,but I shall wait for the rugby

Hibs 1 Celtic 2-another hit and run case
Litex Lovech 1 CSKA Sofia 1-ok not cocking out
Sporting 1 Boavista 0-ooh okay,just turn it in
PAOK 0 Panathinaikos 1-another hit.we have a knack for special fixtures
Slovan Liberec 1 Banik Ostrava 0-brilliant.another dependable Czech hit to round the day
MTK 2 Debrecen 4-craps and no experiment
Dinamo Bucharest 0 Otelul Galati 3-ole!