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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

from the campus moblog of my beloved AJ where i remember a guy saying there should be an age limit to dating.he's an arse,man.

today,i've decide to blog,with a heavy heart as well =(
about BGR i mean.something that's prevalent among teenagers
something you can't avoid
because no man's an island

good for you if you have a stead.your pain is shared among your partner
but today's main topic,is about people who just got dumped,or are still single,desperate(yes and no.i'm the desparate sort) and well,available(even if he tried to evade)

you like a girl.she's your (good) friend.you look forward to go out with her if you can.she's the most good looking or most kind one you can ever find

then when you start to have feelings for her,she drops a bomb...

and when either of these cases happen

1)she told you outright.2)you guessed it.3)she bluntly told you.4)you found out yourself

you feel devastated.and kinda feel very down.to escape from de world.

that's what i did

and i thought of this poignant morsel of stuff

so i've decided to post it(edited from someone's originals)

(It's about the same for both genders, so juz change the he to she, him to her, etc if you're a guy.)

In the presence of her, you pretend to ignore her, and look away.
But hoping that she'll look your way.
But when she is no longer there, you look around to find her.
And get so disappointed to know that she is gone.
Although you are talking to someone else, your eyes are fixed on her.

You find your textbooks filled with her name.
And in the midst of your school desk, you could actually spot her name there.

Everytime your handphone beeps, you hope to see her name..
When it's not her, you get so depressed.
When your phone gets quiet, you have the temptation to sms her.
When she doesn't reply, you let your imagination run wild and get so sad.
Cos you feel unimportant to her.
And sometimes wonder,if she had even forgotten your existance.

Three quarters of your handphone inbox are her smses.
And you find yourself unable to delete any one of them.
When you really have to, you feel your heartache.

When there's a new movie out, the first person you WISHED to watch with, is her.
But always end up watching it with your friends,or even alone,if you're desperate enough for a movie.

When people mention the words " Valentines Day",
The first thing that appears in your mind, is her name.
You realise that your conversations with your friends never fail to include her in your topic.

The first thing you do when you go online,is to find out if she's online too?
When she doesn't,you feel empty and bored and helpless

You worry if she would fall for someone else,
And it hurts when you know that the person will never be you
Especially when you know that she's happy with Her True Love

You find yourself getting so affected by just one word or action from her.
Sometimes you get angry with her for some reasons, and feel yourself hating her.
But once you see her again, your heart melts, and find yourself loving her, once more.

You swore for more than a hundred times never to sms her again,but found yourself sending a message, and the receipient, is her.
You try to forget her, but got reminded of your memories with her.
Many times, you force yourself to stop liking her,But found it even harder than killing yourself.
You try to convince yourself, that you dont like her anymore.
But find the person on your mind to still be her.

While you are reading this, the one that has appeared on your mind, is her, right?

It is tired to live in pretence and lies.
You cant avoid it.
Love is cruel.
It hurts, almost all the time.

and worst of all,even if you tried how hard to escape by turning to your books,Fate somehow has a way to make you end up in a relationship

when reminded of your pain,and the sneerings and cheeky jokes of some of your friends,on how they did fine with their Other One,and all the photos of them together,and worse still,see them walk like a loving couple down Orchard Road or any other street

you wanted to say...I DON"T WANNA LIVE ANYMORE

I just have one yesterday.

far from trying to evade,i've decided to move on.cause you'll never know,when your true dearie would show up,if you keep an open mind.you'll kinda find that your new found love's really better

cause even if you try to resist,God has a way to make your heart melt.even the most iron of resolve would break with all the care and concern of your lovely darling

cause even if you try to evade,love permeates the air,and you will be infected as well.it's the only thing which you'd want to get infected your whole life,even if you try to quarantine yourself,cause the love bug is highly contagious and there is no known vaccine

cause even if you lose hope in love,there are bound to be someone who will be faithful to you,and inevitably one of them would be your true love

cause even if you become numb,you will eventually feel love,however subtle the sensation,and grow to like it

cause even if you think you don't want to live anymore,the mere thought of The One or the motivation of thinking about walking down the street with a partner like your friends do,gives you hope in life

cause even if you try to procrastinate,time has a way to change your stance.and is there anything more potent than that one fine day when you met your to-be-steady,when you least expected it,and after finding out you both were made for each other,hoped that you'll have a similar sensation every day

so love life and love love,cause you will never walk alone in life's journey.I promise,you'll find your true love no matter what happens.it's just a matter of time.some hunks get admirers pretty fast,but some needs to be patient before someone sees through your personality and likes you for who you really are,not what you really think you are

to end this off...

Dreamz FM-Should I Stay

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta knowShould I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

Jose Luis Fabiano at 7/13/2005 11:25:00 PM