see lah...we can't resist the temptation to give you uefa cup fixtures...so here you go...

25/11/2004

Amica vs Alkmaar (well...with the dutch in a fine vein of form we expect nothing less than 0-2)
Schalke vs Ferencváros (well...lets go eat the hungarians now that the germans are so hungry even after beating bayer)
Standard vs Parma (maybe a draw will do...but we expect standard to overperform)
Club Brugge vs Utrecht (too close to call...but we expect brugge to at least run away with a 1-1 draw and even a win)
Dnipro vs Austria (we know what will archdukes do...)
Rangers vs GAK (i'm praying Grazer wins...but this seems quite unlikely)
Dinamo Tbilisi vs Sporting (Sporting would very likely eat this one)
Benfica vs Dinamo Zagreb (returning home for Tomo is a chore as far as this game is concerned..but the floor wouldn't look like...very grimy)
Zenit vs Sevilla (how to transplant a beast to st petersburg and then strap antifreeze around so that they don't freeze is one mysterious qn best left to dr alfaro)
Basel vs Hearts (okok...basel should eat this one like...3-1)
Steaua vs Besiktas (When you have negative publicity on fan stabbings being investigated by the police this is a time for your opponent to win...and we can't see why there's no star on top)
Sochaux vs Newcastle (since those french are so on form...let's drive a renault megane from the museum and run those hapless magpies over)
Villarreal vs Middlesbrough (Boro is the form team of the moment...but we expect them to struggle before slotting one home)
Lazio vs Partizan (we are definitely rooting for a partizan win given lazio is quite wobbly)
AEK vs Lille (the greeks are saved from bankruptcy...so it's time to eat lille up...or is it the other way round...after our correspondents voted in an email poll...they think the latter is more likely(12 votes to 8)
Heerenveen vs Stuttgart (so how...stuttgart win lor...)

yeah yeah yeah...just hope liverpool pulls a surprise against the Nil Gang to rub into PSV's defeat of the most sucky club in the world...Arsenil